Infatuation

Infatuation

Infatuation is an overwhelming sense of passion toward another person that convinces you you have fallen in love with them. It can be extremely powerfulmost people who believe they have found their true love actually experience infatuation instead. Crushes can sometimes be the result of love, but are usually a result of infatuation or lust.

Symptoms

These symptoms can also exist in healthy relationships

  • Butterflies in the stomach;
  • Elevated heart rate & sweating in the presence of their crush;
  • Feeling lovesick;
  • Separation anxiety;
  • Codependency;
  • Being very clingy;
  • Excessive neediness;
  • Socially inappropriate public displays of affection.

Dangers

  • Committing to a relationship or marriage out of excitement and not out of love;
  • Being quick to marry and quick to divorce;
  • Remaining in a relationship with someone who is incompatible in hopes to revive the flame;
  • Usually experienced upon break-up:
    • Severe emotional scarring (i.e., a profoundly broken heart);
    • Low self-esteem;
    • Giving up on love;
    • Severe depression, sometimes leading to suicide.

Root Causes

  • Lack of awareness of one's own emotions;
  • Belief that love is purely emotional and not rational;
  • A broken heart;
  • Lack of familiarity with the concept of infatuation.

Tips

You can determine whether you are experiencing infatuation or love by analyzing your emotions. To accomplish this, simply list all of the reasons why you believe you love that person, and assign them a rational and emotional score.

Some examples:
Reasons I love themRational ScoreEmotional Score
I just know it010
They accept me completely, even after revealing all my secrets1010
Just seeing them smile makes me smile010
We've been together for 5 years80
We resolve conflicts without hurting each other99
They give me gifts all the time06
We make a great team100
Total3735

Ideally you should have similar totals at the end. Note that this is more of a tool to make you really think rationally about your feelings rather than calculating any meaningful score to determine a course of action with your relationship or crush.

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