Infatuation
Infatuation is an overwhelming sense of passion toward another person that convinces you you have fallen in love with them. It can be extremely powerful—most people who believe they have found their [ilink]true love[/ilink] actually experience infatuation instead. [ilink url=”crush”]Crushes[/ilink] can sometimes be the result of [ilink]love[/ilink], but are usually a result of infatuation or [ilink]lust[/ilink].
Symptoms
These symptoms can also exist in healthy relationships
- [ilink]Butterflies in the stomach[/ilink];
- Elevated heart rate & sweating in the presence of their [ilink]crush[/ilink];
- Feeling [ilink]lovesick[/ilink];
- [ilink]Separation anxiety[/ilink];
- [ilink]Codependency[/ilink];
- Being very [ilink url=”clinginess”]clingy[/ilink];
- Excessive [ilink]neediness[/ilink];
- Socially inappropriate [ilink url=”public-display-of-affection”]public displays of affection[/ilink].
Dangers
- Committing to a relationship or marriage out of [ilink]excitement[/ilink] and not out of [ilink]love[/ilink];
- Being quick to marry and quick to divorce;
- Remaining in a relationship with someone who is incompatible in hopes to revive [ilink]the flame[/ilink];
- Usually experienced upon [ilink]break-up[/ilink]:
- Severe emotional scarring (i.e., a profoundly [ilink]broken heart[/ilink]);
- Low [ilink]self-esteem[/ilink];
- [ilink]Giving up on love[/ilink];
- Severe [ilink]depression[/ilink], sometimes leading to suicide.
Root Causes
- Lack of [ilink url=”self-awareness”]awareness[/ilink] of one’s own emotions;
- [ilink]Belief[/ilink] that love is purely emotional and not rational;
- A [ilink]broken heart[/ilink];
- Lack of familiarity with the concept of infatuation.
Tips
You can determine whether you are experiencing infatuation or love by [ilink url=”rational-emotional-analysis”]analyzing[/ilink] your emotions. To accomplish this, simply list all of the reasons why you believe you love that person, and assign them a rational and emotional score.
| Reasons I love them | Rational Score | Emotional Score |
|---|---|---|
| I just know it | 0 | 10 |
| They accept me completely, even after revealing all my secrets | 10 | 10 |
| Just seeing them smile makes me smile | 0 | 10 |
| We’ve been together for 5 years | 8 | 0 |
| We resolve conflicts without hurting each other | 9 | 9 |
| They give me gifts all the time | 0 | 6 |
| We make a great team | 10 | 0 |
| Total | 37 | 35 |
Ideally you should have similar totals at the end. Note that this is more of a tool to make you really think rationally about your feelings rather than calculating any meaningful score to determine a course of action with your relationship or crush.